In a black and white movie — five different scenes, all has the same scenarial importance and related with each other. Some are even filmed in color. You want to remember them all- because you liked them all and their cross-relation and filming technique. But all you remember exactly is that sharp sound, which turned out to be a well known song to you. A very image of a distorted clarinet and the very sound of the entrance of “the Plug(live)” (by Bonobo) — you are not sure if it is clarinet at all— A guy in his late twenties plany it to a lady, probably older, dining with another man. That is too “cliche” you think- you never like “cliche’s” You are sure other scenes are much ‘better’ but just because of that strong sound of the song – “the cliche” stuck in your mind.

It looks as if like it is an independent movie, but it is not obvious if independent from your brain patterns. You are sure it is made inside of it, since the moment after, you find youself in your bed.

Solaris might be the usual suspect. You started reading its ‘book’ for the first time (Lem, 1961). Maybe not the ocean, but the idea of it is creating these dreams. Wasn’t that you flying a helicopter above Chicago some nights ago, with an old couple, trying to find them a hotel room? But where does all these Freudian ideas come from? You don’t like Freud, find it too “cliche” again. There is all the netrino- quark, etc. happening in your brain – very mechanical everything. It must be it, and you are still wondering about the rest of the scenes.

//images are taken from the book “LEPER CREATIVITY: CYCLONOPEDIA SYMPOSIUM © The individual contributors and punctum books, 2012.”

Orkun Beydagi

geotrauma1 geotrauma2

Stand still.. stand for two hours – look around, turn back, go around and walk. Walk – drawing circles – walk with no intention. Focus on your environment. Trees have left no leaves, branches waving under heavy wind. One leave fell of the ground, but you missed it – since you turned the other side of the circle. Continue walking, find out the front door was open. Go down, close it. Damn you fool, you looked at your watch and it was just four minutes, although you had thirty turns on your walk. You failed, because you realized the power of now was not enough to fill your time – you came from the busiest life ever and now looking at leaves or birds or cars or sth. sth. is like the strongest pain or is it?

Now your focus shifted from now to past and the future. What happened in the past- why? You want to have everything calm down and go in the harmony of what now and unknown future is. But you lose to the power of anxiety – it reminds your busiest ever life- start to think of past, go over and over the same old things and lose yourself in the power of hatred and regret and joy and anger. You looked at your watch again, dying to see it passed fourty five minutes – and what you realize is thirty. Better than nothing. You can leave it, quit there and go sleep. Bu you cannot – the very position you take is the best suitable way to watch, whatever needs to be watched. Even in an Auster style, be trapped in the work you do and be yourself. You know you have to both learn how to have two hours get passed and how to enjoy it. Than you realize you are the center of your domain and rule the entire environment around.

Urban and rural – urban surrounds and even maybe traps people’s life such high that, this incredible busyness looks as freedom. It is indeed freedom with the amountless number of choices that occupies time until you fall asleep. But when time is not occupied as it is in urban surroundings the distinction between asleep and awake is getting fuzzier. Hardest is the life style transition as body tries to fill that turn with anxiety because you…

It is 3 am, bed time – things normalized – freedom (cannot be found neither in urban nor rural)

Orkun Beydagi

taken from:

Following Bergson, Relationscapes places the emphasis on the immanence of movement moving: how movement can be felt before it actualizes. Preacceleration refers to the virtual force of movement’s taking form. It is the feeling of movement’s in-gathering, a welling that propels the directionality of how movement moves. In dance, this is felt as the virtual momentum of a movement’s taking form before we actually move. (Erin Manning, Relationscapes, Cambridge: MIT Press, 2009, 6)

[house] — one giant node all in the center of the crumpled lines, however also all the crumpled lines inside that one node as well. It is not an important place, but important only because it is the main spot of the persons awakening. When you awake, no matter how fast you leave the apartment, there is the very moment that fills your memory with the expectations of the day, blended with past events.

Memory is a constant transforming mechanism overlapping stimulations over time. Past events happened form neuron patterns specific for that event, however not that unique as it gets affected with the current stimulations of the constant present. {Constant present in my opinion is as explained by Derrida in ‘What comes before the question?’ …A different type of temporality that’s even older than the past, or a to-come beyond the future. The past and the future are like another present; a past-present and a future-present. I want to try to think of a past or a coming to be that is not just a modified present, not future presents of past presents, but a different experience with regard to the past or the future…} So we come to the conclusion that the events get effected with present stimulations, either good or bad way, which we can classify as depressing or non depressing very simply in ones perspective. We talked about waking up in the morning in a room, and the very first moment we see the ceiling or the walls and so on, of which has the ability to store information from the past events. That helps one to re-call a past event. From that perspective the crumpled lines are changing its scale and gets even more crumpled inside that tiny little room and creates a whole set of information system.

House is one very important place, that fills ones past. But also one can choose not to fill that with many other memories and stuff, or lets say less memories. This may not mean it is not going to re-call past events, but than it triggers one’s inner feelings, and starts to fill the space with the maybe outer stimulations. There it becomes a very personal space, because all the rest of the information will be filtered from a personal point of view. The more the house is shared, the more social it becomes, and also helping memory to be more social as well.

Once it is a difficult concept in relation to all of its clunkiness. But also a very delicate and fragile concept that it becomes the most crucial spot to form one’s memory. Very important to control the house to control the memory and to control the psychology of itself.